


Have you no idea that you're in deep?

by GingerHoran



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M, Genderswap, University AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-17
Updated: 2013-09-17
Packaged: 2017-12-26 21:42:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,263
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/970598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GingerHoran/pseuds/GingerHoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>But sometimes she just couldn't cope, and everything seems to crumble around her when those words didn't sink in, or an essay just wasn't writing itself or a lecture was a blur.</p><p>Those were the times when she needed Niall, she needed him to take her away, kiss away the tears and the insecurities and the failure. Take her to a place where the wind blew through her hair and cleared her mind, or the music was pulsing and dizzying and everything was momentarily cloudy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Have you no idea that you're in deep?

The binder was heavy against Zayn’s knee, but the music was a constant beat through her headphones making her think that all the studying was worth it, and maybe there was a light down the dark seemingly endless tunnel of words.

_Constitutional and administrative law governs the affairs of the state._ [ _Constitutional law_ ](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Constitutional_law) _concerns both the relationships between the executive, legislature and judiciary and the human rights or_ [ _civil liberties_ ](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Civil_liberties) _of individuals against the state._

Words, words, meaningless words.

Groaning as the song changed to Niall’s playlist, she threw the folder beside her on the bed sheet and sluggishly dragged herself into the kitchen, she knew she should get back to revising but her mind was buzzing and she really needed to eat something; well just about anything really.

Obviously the chances of her dorm room fridge being stocked were pretty low, she loved Louis, really loved him. Possibly the nicest, most caring and truthful friend she had ever had, but she fucking hated how messy the guy could be, the couch was constantly covered in crumbs and sticky substances she often didn’t even want to know the name of; and his room, well if you ventured into that abyss there was little chance of escaping without nightmares.

(Zayn also remembers a time where she specifically heard the clawing wail of a cat through the night coming from his room, Louis had been away at his parents for his little sisters birthday so he was unavailable for interrogation, she was terrified but thankfully Harry had let her sleep on his couch for the next few days. Louis hadn’t been so thankful when he returned home.)

“Louis?” She called out with a yawn, scratching at her stomach lightly, she wasn’t expecting an answer as he was probably down at the student bar, or playing strip poker in Harry’s dorm with that girl in his sociology class he can’t find the courage enough to commit to.

 The fridge, as expected, was pretty bare only a few coronas and a random lime which Liam probably left here when he tried to make mojitos for his girlfriend, the results weren’t pretty and consequently Niall was left face palming the floor in drunken giggles whilst Danielle threw up not so prettily in the bathroom.

 “Why is there never any bloody food!” she groaned to herself, slamming the fridge door and sliding down with her back against the cool metal almost pathetically.

~

“Hey Ni,” Harry cried as he tumbled down the stairs and landed at the blond boys feet, Niall chuckled as Harry sat himself up with a dopey smirk on his face, it was obvious by his tousled hair and red- rimmed eyes what he had been up to but Niall didn’t comment.

“Didn’t know my Hazza was such a lightweight” he chuckled, hoisting the boy to his feet and dragging him up the stairs and into his dormroom where the air was thick with smoke, and the whole room was just filled with the aroma of Louis.

Louis carried around this essence of danger, risk and utter stupidity but Niall was always up for drinking twenty McDonald’s ice chocolate milkshakes until his brain froze over, or streaking at midnight wearing snapbacks in front of the Dean’s office, because he was a clever bastard with top GDA scores but he was up to some funny shit when he wasn’t at home studying.

Whilst the room was buzzing with Louis, he noticed a distinct lack of his girlfriend, raven hair to her waist, her random conversations when she was high and the zealous energy she involuntarily released after a few shots.

“Tomlinson, where the fuck is my girlfriend!”

-

To say the least, leaving Zayn home alone on a Saturday night would usually end in tears, the Pakistani was overly conscious of everything around her especially her work. She’d spend time perfecting her notes, usually hours blue-tacking memo’s her wall or recording voice tapes on her mobile, anything less than perfect belonged in the trash.

When things got too much, and she just couldn’t handle anything anymore she’d usually retreat to her bedroom, and fling the sheets over herself as if to cocoon out the rest of the world, sobbing words to herself.

_Failure, Failure, Failure._

To top it all off, her parents had very high expectations of her, she was the only girl in her family and they expected great things, they told her that her dreams of becoming an artist were ridiculous and that no possible career would ever arise from that pathway.

Her father’s screams through the phone were often all she heard at night; he expected the best of everything from her, the best grades, the best friends, the best boyfriends.

But sometimes she just couldn’t cope, and everything seems to crumble around her when those words didn’t sink in, or an essay just wasn’t writing itself or a lecture was a blur.

Those were the times when she needed Niall, she needed him to take her away, kiss away the tears and the insecurities and the failure. Take her to a place where the wind blew through her hair and cleared her mind, or the music was pulsing and dizzying and everything was momentarily cloudy.

Niall was an open book, an open mind. He had everything, the brains, the athletic ability, the supportive family and he was pursuing his dream, but what was most important to him was Zayn, he loved her bright laughter and creative mind, those fingertips which swirled with lead onto a clean sweep of white paper creating an unforgettable image on paper.

-

Knocking on the door interrupted the silence that filled Zayn’s room, it was insistent and humming but pleasant and familiar, and Zayn smiled to herself as she opened up the door.

Niall was stood there with a sheepish grin, and a brown paper bag greasy with take-out food and Zayn hadn’t smiled this much in ages that it almost made her face bruise, and she couldn’t help but burst open with laughter and throw herself into his arms.

She snuggled into his chest smelling cinnamon, citrus and just the faintest of beer, his chuckling vibrations running through her spine as he took a step forward and kicked back the door with a kick of his heel, slapping the bag onto the counter and pushing his head into the junction of his girlfriends shoulder with a content sigh.

“God, I missed you babe” he hummed, and Zayn was silently nodding against his shoulder not wanting to ruin the moment with words, because his presence was enough to calm her throttling nerves and the jump of her heart in her throat.

In the end, they enveloped themselves in heaps of blankets, watching old re-runs of friends on comedy central whilst eating Chinese chicken noodles from Mr Lee’s take-away and sharing chunks of caramel muffins from the food department, because the student bakery was shit, and Harry didn’t seem to notice.

“I love you” she whispered with a kiss to his chest, and almost regretted the words rapidly as a wave of self-consciousness washed over her body, and she froze.

 “Love you more” Niall replied instantly, there was no waver in his voice, no flash of lies in those arctic blue eyes and if there was anyone she truly loved more than anything in this world it was him. Smiling down at her, he kissed her with such intensity and truth that it almost burned, all her senses alight with fire as that cold, shivering doubt was gone.

_It wasn’t too soon._


End file.
